One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
