Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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