I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
