ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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