the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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