In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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