K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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