oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
