I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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