fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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