I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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