Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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