i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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