You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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