Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
