haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
