please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
