Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
