Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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