Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
