they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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