I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
