hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
