My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
