well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we made out on top of his cat.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
