I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
