I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
