Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize