she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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