I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
