She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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