She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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