if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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