A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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