his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
