How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
