I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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