I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
