nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
