I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
