she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
