last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
operation have a gay friend backfired
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
