all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
