I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
