i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
