Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
