The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
