i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
