Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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