you traded sex for a burrito?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
