He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize