I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
