i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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