If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
