The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
