so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Congratulations! We have a period
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
