Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
