I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I am one with the molecules
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
