you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
