Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
