I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
